Dimming

Starting out this year with loss of hearing in my left ear. This has caused me much grief as I have enjoyed perfect hearing all my life. The doctors are not sure what causes ‘sudden onset hearing loss’ and they don’t have any treatment. Apparently, what’s done is done. So here I am. My eyesight has been getting worse as the years have worn on, and now I’m losing my hearing. A slow dimming of the senses. Trying to think about pivoting to new ways of interpreting the world with the signal interference of crossed wires or confused signals. It all adds to the experience I guess, but I miss being able to listen to music, sing, whistle, and the sound of silence outside—that is the biggest loss for me.

What can I gain from this dimming? Maybe a greater appreciation for what I still have, a gratitude that I enjoyed a life full of the sounds that surround us all these years. I know the birds still sing, the bees still buzz, but now they will surprise me when they arrive on the left side of my head! I’m working to restore my hearing, but there is really no hope. I will have tinnitus in my left ear continuing to buzz, and a dead area in my skull where I used to hear the deep bass vibrations and sensations of the lower range of sounds.

oh well. I’m sure I will adjust. What’s the alternative?